They warned me and I listened but THEN I DIDN’T HAHAHAHAHAhaha
Sean Bean dies in everything because it’s the universe trying to correct the hole ripped in it due to the fact that his name doesn’t rhyme when it should
Once you get a taste of sleeping next to someone, sleeping alone in your own bed really sucks.
girls don’t like boys. girls like dresses with pockets and guardians of the galaxy
no one has a crush on me. i am too strong to be crushed
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST
Codependency isn’t sexy. It isn’t romantic. It’s built with a fuse and will surely burn out. The healthiest thing you can say to the one you love is, “I would be okay without you, and that’s why I choose to stay.”
7 billion people, 14 billion buttholes
a slight calculative error was madeanus georg
are you implying there’s a human named anus georg who posesses 7 billion buttholes
that is terrifying
top gear + tumblr text posts part III
last one from me bye
'Tell me what happens the first time you see a woman naked.'
'The first time you see a woman naked will not be like you imagined. There will be no love, no trust, no intimacy. You won’t even be in the same room as her.
You won’t get to smile as she undresses you and you undress her. You won’t get to calm her nerves with nerves of your own. You won’t get to kiss her, feeling her lips and the edge of her tongue. You won’t get to brush your fingers over the lace of her bra or count her ribs or feel her heartbeat.
The first time you see a woman naked you will be sitting in front of a computer screen watching someone play at intimacy and perform at sex. She will contort her body to please everyone in the room but her. You will watch this woman who is not a woman, pixelated and filtered and customized. She will come ready-made, like an order at a restaurant. The man on the screen will be bigger than you, rougher than you. He will teach you how to talk to her. He will teach you where to put your hands and he will teach you what you’re supposed to like. He will teach you to take what is yours.
You must unlearn this. You must unlearn this twisted sense of love. You must unlearn the definition of pleasure and intimacy you are being taught. Kill this idea of love, this idea of entitlement, this way of scarring one another.’
this scared me and made me cry and i am almost embarrassed to post this but quite honestly i would rather fight for this rather than anything else.
men and womens value, and the indescribable importance of intimacy
I’m initiating stage 4 on Saturday when I get my hair cut, so I thought I’d make a little comic about my adventures in short hair.
Don’t get me wrong, sooooo many people pull off BEAUTIFUL LUSCIOUS LONG hair! But my hair was dry and fried and cutting it two months ago was the start of something beuatiful. Can’t wait to get to god-tier radness.
edit: had to move the panels around because stage 4 wasn’t showing proper and it looked weird and I can’t figure it out, tumblr is dumb ):<
Whenever you’re going through a bad day just remember, your track record for getting through bad days, so far, is 100%; and that’s pretty damn good.
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